The Pantaloon : Geezers And Girls : Brother Wagwit

The Pantaloon
Edited by Brother Wagwit
Earlyish in the 21st Century

Geezers And Girls

With so many cautionary tales of salacious misbehavior involving rich old geezers and pretty young girls, here’s a basic refresher to help avoid weighty consequences for all you geezers not rolling around in the dough, or the hay for that matter.

A girl is the female of the species. You (geezer) are a male, the girl is a female.

You can have fun with girls. Especially if you tell them it’s your birthday. Young girls seem to like geezer birthdays, and you may think it’s sweet. The reality is, they see an expiration date and a generous mention in your will.

So it’s your birthday and as a special treat you want to have fun with a girl. Remember, you have to ask first. If you ask, you can have a really good time. If you don’t ask you can spend a lot of time in jail.

If you ask nicely, and it’s your birthday, a girl will let you touch her all over the place. There are plenty of fun things to touch on girls (as a geezer, touching is probably all you can do, unassisted by chemistry). However, I recommend that you don’t insert a finger in her ear or her nose. This would make you seem a little weird. But then, maybe she would like this sort of thing. If you feel that a finger in her ear or nose would be fun, remember to ask first, because of the jail thing.

Also, importantly, as much as you’d like to get down to business, when you first see or meet a girl don’t start the conversation by offering candy.

The mathematical equation goes like this: Geezer + Girl + Candy = Jail.

If there’s a point here it’s that geezers are disposed to girl troubles. You can have a nice life as a proper geezer with benefits or you can be a geezer in jail. My advice, stay out of jail unless your heart’s set on being the jail’s geezer girl.

You touch the merchandise, you buy the store.