The Pantaloon : Aliens And Foreskins : Brother Wagwit

The Pantaloon
Edited by Brother Wagwit
Earlyish in the 21st Century

Aliens & Foreskins

From the wires we read that the descendants of the Mayflower and of David & Solomon have an exclusive, secret covenant with a galactic federation of alien overlords, in which scientific and technological exchanges are hashed out in an underground command center in, wait for it…, yes, Mars.

Since the USA is the fruit of Manifest Destiny, and Israel’s children are The Chosen People, in the context of this particular covenant it follows that politicos and higher ups in both nations are in effect privy to the deepest mysteries of the universe, which would account for the pompous assholian tendencies flaunted by many of them; dicks if you will.

One could infer that the people of Israel –currently observing their fifth millennium as The Chosen– would have been the original source of contact with these alien interlopers. If this were the case, one could reasonably extrapolate that, with the intent of limiting future dickishness (foreskin foresight), circumcision must have been an integral part of a covenant for the exchange of arcane secrets.

Cutting to the chase (!), if circumcision was in fact part of the original covenant (having a foreskin is perhaps the original sin?), a fundamental question to ask would be, what in the good lord’s name is the deal with aliens and foreskins? But a question of more profound significance is: Does the Ark of the Covenant house a clipped foreskin???

Nip and tuck at warp speed.